Monday, November 2, 2009

I couldn't sleep...

I had a lot on my mind and couldn't sleep... so I thought I would get it off my chest and hopefully get to bed...

(Lyla at 1 month)

Recently, I have heard of a few people whose babies/toddlers have had some serious health issues that are very difficult for the child and parents to endure. One case, the child had been diagnosed with a very severe disorder that has been devastating to the parents (I don't know them... they are a friend of a friend). Anyway, I heard about their heartbreaking story tonight and about another friends story in the past couple of days and it really just got me thinking...

There are so many things that can go wrong with our's and our children's health and some things are more severe than others. You hear about these stories about things that happen with other people's children, and you think hopefully to yourself "that probably wouldn't happen to my kids". And it doesn't really hit you until it happens to you or to someone you know. As I think about these people and what they are going through, it makes me want to cry. I feel for them so strongly, and I cannot even imagine what life must be like for them. Anyway, the point of this is not to talk about these people I am referring to. Here is my point...

I am the youngest child in my family and before Lyla was born, I had 7 nieces and nephews on my side. After marrying Nate, I gained 8 more nieces and nephews (now there are 12, almost 13). Out of all of these children, each of them ended up with good, strong, healthy , "normal" bodies. That isn't to say that they never got sick, but they were all considered "normal". When Lyla was diagnosed with Clubfoot, I was devastated. Not for me, but for her. I never thought that I would have a child that had a deformity, especially since no one in our family really had problems like that. I was so concerned for her and all the treatment she would have to go through to fix the problem. We were and are so grateful that nothing else was wrong since often times Clubfoot is linked to other disorders. We prayed and just knew that everything was going to be okay. That we had nothing we needed to worry about.

But still, even after all of that, I complained. I complained that her casts were such a pain. I complained that she had to wear her braces all day for 3 months. I complained that her shoes were such a pain to put on. I even said to Nate the other day that I really hope our other children don't get Clubfoot, as if it is this horrible thing. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I want my children to have Clubfoot, it's more of the fact that I was so focused on something that seems so trivial. Now, after hearing what some other's are going through with their children, I can't believe I complained. I feel like what Lyla goes through really is not a big deal, at all. And I have felt that way for a while and she hardly seems to notice. It is what it is. She could have been so much worse off. But she isn't. She is healthy. She is happy. She is developing right on track. And doctors are so impressed with how great her feet are doing. She is blessed. I am blessed. Our family is blessed. And still, I complained.

So tonight, I want to say I am grateful. I am grateful for Lyla. I am grateful for all the ways that being her mother has helped me to grow. I am grateful for the love I have for her. I am grateful that she is healthy. I am grateful that the treatment for her feet has been going beautifully. I am grateful that we live in a time where she can be treated so she will be able to walk and be "normal". I am so sorry that I ever complained. I take it back, I do. And to those whose families who are on my mind tonight, thank you for putting things into perspective for me. You're in my prayers.

Goodnight.

8 comments:

Gio, Judi and Boys said...

Very nice post Kelly! We do often think that life is so hard until we hear of another's trials then it does put things into perpective. I remember makimg comments like "thank goodness my son doesn't have that" or "I could never deal with that". With our youngest we have had challanges at different stages, and now we have another one..but you know what. I'm grateful for it because it has helped us as a family and me as a wife and mother. It least whatever comes is with our children/family and we love them so it makes the trial somewhat easier. I just try to remember the scripture that says "when ye have done it unto the least of these ye have done it unto me". I don't know what your friends are going through, bu I am sure that your prayers will help them. You're a great mother and wife. I can see how you have grown and changed reading your posts.
Hugs.
Judi

abby said...

you're great kelly. and i feel the same way. sometimes i complain about my children because they are super high-maintenance and BUSY but what a blessing it is that they CAN be crazy kids. good post.

Pat said...

Thanks Kelly for putting things in perspective for all of us. We are truly blessed! We are blessed to have you as a daughter-in-law & the mother of our granddaughter, Lyla. Nate is a lucky man... Love, Mom Wright

Elena said...

Kelly, I know exactly how you feel. With Anna's whole situation I learned so much. I feel SO blessed that her condition could be fixed. I know we've been guided and blessed beyond measure. I know I compain a lot, but I think it's kidn of natural for us to complain when hard times roll around. I think the hardest thing is to watch your kids to go through something hard. I wished so many times I could take Anna's place. But I am so grateful for this experience. I know it taught me so many things. It makes you more vulnerable, but also makes you more compassionate and sympathetic. And as you said- it makes you love your child that much more! Thank you for your beautiful post!

Candace Wright said...

Kelly, that was beautiful! You're right - we have SO much to be grateful for. We love you.

AaReAn said...

hi. I don't know you kelly, I actually randomly clicked on your blog from Adrienne and J.D.'s and I just wanted to say...great post. I don't have any children yet, but it seems like recently I have heard of so many people who are having problems with their kids and its heart breaking...and it definitely made me reflect on what I need to be thankful fo. Thanks for putting things in perspective.

Ashley Comeau said...

I totally feel ya on this post. I always have the same thoughts. Lately I have even related them to how I felt when it was so hard for Benjy to find work. It was so hard at devastating and now I look back and can't believe how much I complained instead of seeing the blessings. Hind sight is 20/20. Hopefully I will be able to handle future challenges better.

Hil and Collin said...

That was so nice to read. I love that you are so tender hearted. It's funny that you actually wrote about this cause a few weeks ago I was watching a show on the discovery channel that followed these two people who had all these health problems and tumors and how it affected them and their families. Though it wasn't about babies, these people were someones child. I cried almost through the whole show cuz not only did I feel bad for them but here I am complaining about how stressful and hard life can be yet my husband and my self have our health and have it pretty easy. I think it's good for us to reflect on these things so we can remember how blessed we are.