Thankful Day #15: When I Learn Something About Myself
I think in the past I have struggled with identifying what I want to like vs. what I actually do like. And sometimes I get in my head that I want or need to be good at certain things, or I try to make it some hobby of mine. Does that make sense? Let me tell you, it is overwhelming! Here are some examples...
- I want to be one of those people who just loves to cook and bake. I do like cooking and baking and I make good stuff. I just don't like to do it every night. It overwhelms me. Probably because of the mess I have to clean up afterwards.
- I want to feel like cleaning is therapeutic, but it is sort of torture for me. I sound like a teenager, I know. But when things are clean and orderly, I feel more at peace and in control.
- I want to get to all those projects sitting in my garage (repainting a blanket box and 2 bookshelves, re-doing our coffee table and our kitchen table), but I do not have the time!!
- I want to read a book or two every month, but by the time I have the time to do it, I'm just too dang tired.
Anyway, I think I had just been trying to do too much and I just felt really overwhelmed. There is just not enough time in the day to do so. So, I started to try and figure myself out and what I really want and enjoy and accepting myself for it. Let me tell you, it really has been such a weight off my shoulders! So here is what I have figured out...
Having a clean home is therapeutic to me, but cleaning itself is not. So, I decided that I would clean for about 45 minutes every morning and then be done with it for the rest of the day. Well actually, we do a clean up with the girls before bed. I am hoping that will make sure things stay picked up, cleaned, and orderly.
Still don't like to do this very much. But what I do is just buy meals for the week or two, make enough for leftovers, and I also get some easy meals. Freezer meals are also a great idea. This one time, a couple of friends of mine and I spent an entire day just cooking freezer meals. It was so fun and it provided a ton of meals that were so easy to assemble. I think I may start that again.
Things that are important to me (in no particular order):
Good, quality time with Nate and the girls. Sleep. Staying home with my girls and being able to raise them myself. Feeling like I contribute at home and financially. Everyone being happy. Time for me to just sit and relax. Church.
Things I have time for:
- My kids. That includes feeding, changing, bathing, playing with, teaching, and crafting with them. And taking them to play groups, parks, etc.
- Husband. He is so busy and is gone most the time. I take care of him by taking care of the kids, giving him food when he gets home, trying to keep the house clean, and you know, basic needs. I also make sure we get to spend some good quality time together before bed... probably more for me than him :)
- Photography. I can take pictures of people on the weekends, and edit the pictures during nap times, while Nate is doing school stuff, etc.
- Books. When I don't have pictures to edit, I can read the book club book.
- My calling. Because let's be honest, I can't afford not to do my calling.
- If I have a lazy Saturday or something where Nate is home, then I can do my projects sitting in my garage. More than likely I won't get to those until Christmas break.